so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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