idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize