My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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