Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
