In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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