Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
