Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize