when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
3 2 1 whiskey
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
wow bdsm is so cute
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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