Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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