Will you blow on my dice?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
