you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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