I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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