Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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