Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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