i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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