JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
