so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
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Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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I got inside last night via doggy door
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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