I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
