Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
