Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
