i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
