if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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