she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
