I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
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