cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
