I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You may now shotgun with the bride
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
