My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize