is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
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