I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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