he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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