eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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