I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
