This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
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I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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