didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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