the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
