i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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