Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell