Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she peed on how many people?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
