operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.