I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
