dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
