I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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