escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Girls should come with a carfax report
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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