Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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