How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
