his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
