You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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