Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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