thus making me awesome and them whores
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
