I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
