I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
