Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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