Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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