How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
