apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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