dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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