You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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