Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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