I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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