i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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