this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
