Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
