Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
